Saturday of underwater discovery

During a trip to the aquarium. My 3 & a half year old daughter had an accident and what her pants. We were looking at the Stingrays and I was trying to get her to pet one and she started screaming screaming saying I have to pee two seconds later she says I peed myself LOL. While using the blow dryer in the bathroom to dry her pants and panties I was thinking about how funny day-to-day life is with young children,  when they’re doing ridiculous things. Things  such as yelling and screaming on the bathroom floor while I blow dry her clothes LOL. As parents,  as  I’m realizing that we should always find a reason to smile even in the most annoying situations of children not listening there is joy to be had. Normally when she is screaming her head off I would get angry and upset but on this day I didn’t maybe it was all the blow drying not sure the hand dryers they have now are pretty fun. You know those hand dryers that you have to put your hand in and out of slowly but you just can’t stop playing with it. During our visit to the aquarium she had alot of fun, but being that we went around her nap time, I didn’t really expect her to behave. We got to the aquarium around 2 p.m. she loved looking at all the fish but she didn’t want to have the patience to watch and see them do things she loved looking at all the fish but she didn’t want to have the patience to watch and see them do things. She would love seeing animals such as the nurse sharks and she would be excited for approximately 3.4 seconds and then she would want to go to the next exhibit quickly though when I say quickly I mean the she ran and left us all in the dust. Of course it was just me and my sister-in-law with the four kids, so it wasn’t as easy to deal with Ferrari as it may have been had my husband have been there. At one point she started to say that her legs were broken and she needed daddy to be there to carry her. I love my daughter but sometimes I get so frustrated at how quickly she throws tantrums when things don’t go her way but something that I’m starting to think about a lot is that don’t we adults also throw tantrums when we don’t get our way?Maybe not in the way of jumping up and down and screaming but we do get angry and we don’t get our  away some more so than others. Who doesn’t like to get their way. So as I was blow drying her pants to dry the wetness from the accident I started to think about what if I viewed life from her perspective that she just gets upset when things don’t go her way and the only way she knows how to express herself is by screaming and jumping up and down. Sure this is not the ideal way for one to express themselves but come on she is three and a half not 30. I am 26 years old and I know that when I don’t get my way I throw a tantrum sometimes I let it even ruin weeks of my life. A perfect example of this is the past month I’ve had a lot of days where I didn’t get my way and all I’ve done is throw Tantrums and then been sad and mopey. So instead of jumping up and down screaming I just let myself sink into a depression and whine about everything. If you will, I did my own form of jumping up and down. Sure this is not the ideal way for one to express themselves but come on she is 3 and a half not 30. I am 26 years old and I know though when I don’t go get my way I throw a tantrum sometimes I let it even ruined weeks of my life. A perfect example of this is the past month I’ve had a lot of days where I didn’t get my way and all I have done is some tantrums and been sad and mopey. So instead of jumping up and down and screaming I just let myself sink into a depression and  it was just as destructive if not more so I am going adult I should know better. My main thought in that bathroom stall was that if I viewed Ferrari more as a struggling child than a bother maybe I would be able to deal with her more easily children are not depressed not really feeling up to par. This has taken quite a toll on me in my day-to-day life when I am depressed it makes it nearly impossible to do anything. I feel as though my depression was directly caused by letting myself get upset by not getting my way I guess you could say that I did my own form of jumping up and down and screaming. depressed not really feeling up to par. This has taken quite a toll on me in my day to day life when I have to press it makes it nearly impossible to do anything. I feel as though my depression was directly caused by letting myself get upset by not getting my way I guess you can say that I did my own form of jumping up and down and screaming. The main lesson that I realized well blow drying her Penneys in that bathroom stall was that I need to try to view her more as a struggling child that I created then a  burden. And I’ve actually been reading a lot about this lately on Facebook. A few different parenting pages that I follow have been discussing how it is our duty to help are struggling children. And I think that a lot of times we parents seem to just focus on the negative things our children do and just get stressed out and burdened by it such as when they throw Tantrums my suggestion in the suggestion of others as well is that we focus on the positives and when they’re upset we try to see what we can do to help rather than focusing on punishment. Not saying that punishment isn’t a good idea but when all you’re doing is punishing and never rewarded what is that teaching the child that they’re determined to be punished forever. The main point of this is that this moment of reflection made me realize that Ferrari and I are actually very similar and that when she is upset I should just take a moment to help her figure out what’s bothering her and find a solution rather than reacting by getting  angry and punishing.

Today has been a very good Saturday. It started with me letting go of my depression and deciding to make today a good day. I know that when one has depression, it’s easier said than done Today but I believe if you try hard enough you can push the feelings aside and fake it it till you make it as fly lady would say.

Sneaky depression Saturday

Today I am having issues with depression . It’s like everything is making me sad . No matter what I try I still find myself sad. Sure maybe I can just snap out of it. YEAH RIGHT! Get real . If people with depression or any other mental disorder could just snap out of it they would. No none just enjoys being miserable.  Today we are celebrating Uncle Dan’s birthday.  So we should all be having a great time, we’ll except me. It’s nothing anyone did or anything it’s just that seemingly Neverending sadness of depression.  When I have thease days it feels like I will never be happy.  I feel like the most terribke wife/mother on the planet, but that is so far from the truth . Life is so beautiful, we just need to find the beauty in each moment even the days like this when it’s tough for me, I force myself to be positive and that is what eventually pulls me out of it. Even though sometimes it may take a few hours or even a day or two I work at it and always come out of it! It just is not an instantaneous process. Man I wish it was though! I am happy to say that thease days get to be fewer and fewer as time goes on. My husband is a huge reason for this . He always there for me every step of the way. When I just want to give up he’s there telling me to pick myself up and keep going. “You Got this!”, He’ll Tell Me Despite My Anger . He puts up with my sometimes very venomous tongue. He forces me to relax. He forgives me when I snap from time to time. But most of all, he accepts me as I am, with out expecting me to change  and that’s an awesome feeling. That’s love! Without my wonderful partner days like today would probably turn into weeks and months maybe even years. As I right this entry , I feel better and better.  There is something so freeing about sharing this with the world . It helps in a way to ease the sadness.  To bring light to the  darkness. Maybe it even helps me to see the truth through the lies that depression tells the mind.

As I sit here with sleeping baby Jr, watching Ferrari play, it reminds me why I do everything in the first place.  My children.They are my motivation.  Although they are extremely stressful at times they are worth every moment of it.

Today we went walking on some trails and Ferrari was really hard to deal with, as was teething baby fussy pants. I made the mistake  of telling her we were going to a park. She kept running ahead of everyone (which is SUPER  dangerous in a place like we were with snakes etc ) and when I got on to her about it her reasoning  was that she was trying to find the playground. Needless to say, when I told her there was no playground she just about lost her mind! In turn I just about lost mine.my first response despite my anger (still working on my patience , which needs a lot of work) was to simply talk to her. I used to spank but I don’t believe in that anymore.  It never did anything anyway, aside from hurt her feelings . I want to teach her right fromnwrong not teach her that the ones that keep jer safe wikl hurt her . Whenever  I tried to talk to her, she responded by hitting me and digging her seemingly claw like nails  into me. Instead of losing my cool I just took a step back.  It was so hard to do, but the last thing I want to do is respond in anger in the moment. I tried again and again to get thru to her. Over and over she did not listen.  I am proud to say that after about an hour I finnally got thru to her and she was listening to me! It was so awesome I felt so good.  PATIENCE WAS THE KEY! I even asked her how she felt about hurting mommy,  to which she responded in her sweetest little voice, ” I’m so sorry mommy “. Of course I forgave her. I want to teach her to forgive.

Now she is playing being a kid and I only hope that she will show others the forgiveness I show her. I. Thease days where I struggle in this  battle with depression, I find comfort in knowing that I matter to someone. There are two little people that are counting on me and think the world of me. On thease days where I don’t love me, knowing that they do makes a world of difference. Today  I am learning that if I could see the world a little more through my children’s eyes I would probally be alot happier. They are so young and free.  They don’t get stuck in the negatives, they get lost in the moments and leave the world behind! Have a great weekend  everyone!